pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
