my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize