we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
