The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
