I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
