If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
