there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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