Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
