break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
