She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
