guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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