What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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