What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
