Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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