oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just cut my nipple shaving
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
