you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
