oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
