My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
