I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
