He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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