i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
