I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
