i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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