In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
