went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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