what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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