gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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