I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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