does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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