Having a random hookup so left but love u
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
