saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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