he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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