I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
