come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
