Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
