people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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