Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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