i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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