a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
