Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Someone came in the potted fern
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
