it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
