The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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