His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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