yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
