Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
