her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
