Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
