i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have tasted many bathrooms
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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