Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
