So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
whose ass print is on the piano?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You can't just leave with hair like that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
