Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
