life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
