I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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