so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
