Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
