i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
