we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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