i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize