I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
