and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
