Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
