Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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